Some of you have found the blog disturbing or alarming. Here is an entry guaranteed to bore your socks off. It's what I have eaten so far today. If you manage to get through it, feel free to comment on whether you think it is good/bad, too much/too little. Blah etc. blah:
...I list these in part because I think I did a good job of eating today. But this is by no means excessive for me. From time to time over the years I have tried to eat as much as possible while working out, in order to gain weight. I have always remained a stick-man.
You know what? I think it is time for the big revelation. It's time to tell people how much I weigh. Seeing as I am a Victim and all. But this is no small thing for me, because, when you are freakishly thin, people are always asking you how much you weigh. Aside from the fact that it is none of your damned business, I just don't like being a subject of idle curiosity. So since, I think, high school, I have always made firm policy of never answering the question. A typical conversation would go like this:
Person: "So how much do you weigh?"
Me: "Why do you ask?"
Person: "Just curious."
Me: "OK."
(pause)
Person: "So how much do you weigh?"
Me: "Why do you ask?"
Person: "Just curious."
Me: "OK."
(pause)
Repeat as necessary.
...You would be surprised that some poeple will repeat this cycle three or four times until they realize you are not going to tell them, and then they get angry. Actually, I never do this to people anymore. The last time may have been in high school. But the point in this passive-aggressive response is that it is OK for you to be idly curious. And OK for me to not satisfy your curiosity.
I guess I'm kind of prickly and private.
Anyway, bathroom scales are notoriously fickle, but when I was, like, 20, I weighed 120 pounds. You could see my pelvis like a salad bowl. I labored hard to gain weight and got up to 124 pounds, largely as a result of getting a little older, I think. I remember being exhuberent when I reached 124 pounds. A victory. So then the years went by, I got a little older, at one point I went through a phase of regular weight-lifting, and I used the creatine, I must have been about 30, and I got up to 136 pounds. Woo hoo! That was awesome. I rarely weigh myself, because I don't have time, and I guess my metric was how much exercise I was getting and whether I felt and looked robust. However, the day before the MRI scan I weighed myself on a fickle old bathroom scale at 126 pounds. Today, when I went to the YMCA, I stood on the scale in my shoes and all my clothes and it put me at 138 pounds. So I assume I weigh about 130 pounds.
I will do a lot of eating and working out and see if I can get that number up.
Breakfast: quarter pound tofu, 2 pieces whole wheat toast with butter and strawberry jam, half an apple, half a banana, two spoonfuls of kiwi fruit.
Mid-morning snack: raisens, cheese, some leftover vegetarian thing based on lentils
Lunch: Tuna sandwich with tomato, lettuce and cheese. Whole apple.
Post-workout snack: leftover Indian food (1 plate of basmati rice with some spinach chicken and some curry pork).
Late-afternoon snack: eggbeaters, two slices of sourdough toast with butter and strawberry jam.
Dinner: not sure what dinner will be, but last night was cornflake chicken, mashed potatos and green beans. I made a point of eating two pieces of thigh+leg chicken instead of just one. Then after dinner I will have one glass of that protein shake that gives you 68% of the daily protein requirement.
As usual, the only thing I drank all day was water. Once in a while I will have some fruit juice.
...I list these in part because I think I did a good job of eating today. But this is by no means excessive for me. From time to time over the years I have tried to eat as much as possible while working out, in order to gain weight. I have always remained a stick-man.
You know what? I think it is time for the big revelation. It's time to tell people how much I weigh. Seeing as I am a Victim and all. But this is no small thing for me, because, when you are freakishly thin, people are always asking you how much you weigh. Aside from the fact that it is none of your damned business, I just don't like being a subject of idle curiosity. So since, I think, high school, I have always made firm policy of never answering the question. A typical conversation would go like this:
Person: "So how much do you weigh?"
Me: "Why do you ask?"
Person: "Just curious."
Me: "OK."
(pause)
Person: "So how much do you weigh?"
Me: "Why do you ask?"
Person: "Just curious."
Me: "OK."
(pause)
Repeat as necessary.
...You would be surprised that some poeple will repeat this cycle three or four times until they realize you are not going to tell them, and then they get angry. Actually, I never do this to people anymore. The last time may have been in high school. But the point in this passive-aggressive response is that it is OK for you to be idly curious. And OK for me to not satisfy your curiosity.
I guess I'm kind of prickly and private.
Anyway, bathroom scales are notoriously fickle, but when I was, like, 20, I weighed 120 pounds. You could see my pelvis like a salad bowl. I labored hard to gain weight and got up to 124 pounds, largely as a result of getting a little older, I think. I remember being exhuberent when I reached 124 pounds. A victory. So then the years went by, I got a little older, at one point I went through a phase of regular weight-lifting, and I used the creatine, I must have been about 30, and I got up to 136 pounds. Woo hoo! That was awesome. I rarely weigh myself, because I don't have time, and I guess my metric was how much exercise I was getting and whether I felt and looked robust. However, the day before the MRI scan I weighed myself on a fickle old bathroom scale at 126 pounds. Today, when I went to the YMCA, I stood on the scale in my shoes and all my clothes and it put me at 138 pounds. So I assume I weigh about 130 pounds.
I will do a lot of eating and working out and see if I can get that number up.
posted by brainhell at 4:16 PM
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