Thursday, October 20, 2005

Tiff


We recently had our first comment battle involving the use of obscenities here at the brainhell blog (Friday, September 09, 2005, "Gesture without motion"). However, we were able to patch things up and restore the sense of diversity and inclusion in a subsequent symposium. The minutes are as follows.

brainhell: The brainhell blog is meant to be a forum that includes all of God's children, black men and white men, Jews and Gentiles, Protestants and Catholics...

Femi-Mommy: Ahmen!

brainhell: We even welcome viewpoints both right and wrong, which is where you come in, ShutteredEye. As I believe you proudly supported George W. Bush in both elections he lost.

ShutteredEye: Yes I did. And his spirit moves upon the waters.

brianhell: I've provided name placards for both of you, so that the audience can tell who's speaking. Femmi-Mommy's says "Femi-Mommy," and ShutteredEye, yours says "Mr. Wrong."

ShutteredEye: I hardly think that's fair. I haven't even got any Chinese ancestors.

brainhell: No, It says "Mr. Wrong," not "Mr. Wong."

ShutteredEye: Very well then.

brainhell: Femi-Mommy, would you like to start the panel discussion?

Femi-Mommy: I'd like to start cutting up his lungs to feed to dung beetles, then shove the dung beetles down his throat until he chokes to death.

ShutteredEye: You silly liberal trollop, I merely said that I support the strongest, gentlest, kindest man to ever hold the presidency in his big, loving, holy hands.

Femi-Mommy: The Constitution gives you the right to do that. But your president thinks the Constitution is a problem to be cleared up with laxatives!

ShutteredEye: Moderator, this is ridiculous! I refuse to debate a woman who has tattoos!

Femi-Mommy: Scared?

ShutteredEye: Scared? Why ... why I'll insert your cold, lifeless body into my trash compactor! And then sell the house!

Femi-Mommy: Gasp! You are the man of my dreams. I place my tattooed womanhood before you. Here on this table, take me now.

ShutteredEye: I cannot! I belong to another!

Femi-Mommy: Your wife?

ShutteredEye: No, I am married to the President!

Femi-Mommy: He doesn't support gay marriage.

ShutteredEye: It is a holy union that transcends time and flesh. I will be with him in the afterlife.

Femi-Mommy: He's a custard, though.

ShutteredEye: I tell you, woman: My coffin will have a Diebold voting machine installed in it, and my finger will be wired in the down position, pressing the button to vote for George W. Bush. In eternity.

brainhell: Well, there you have it. Reasonable people can differ, and still get along.
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