Turf

It's true that my mother can have a lot of energy devoted to not being wrong. I have many memories of her lovingly explaining that what I said is what she is saying -- even if they're diametrically opposite. She tries to use words to let you know that your disagreement with her is actually a case of you agreeing.

She lives in an invented reality. But it's not just as simple as her not wanting people to disagree.

What you saw in the 'hazel' eyes incident for daughter was what happens when you contradict her devotion to my father, who had hazel eyes. Since she adores daughter, she wants her to have hazel eyes, because it would reflect on my father. You stepped in the way of that. It's rather like the time your mother told me, not for the first time, that son has her eyes, or your father's. I said, with mock self-importance, that your godmother kept saying that he has my eyes. Your mother snapped at me for that.

In both cases, they'll defend the turf of delusions.