they had this rule in the maternity ward against food. this is stupid and favors doctors' fears. i have a better rule: no pregnant women allowed in the maternity ward. then there would be NO complications. my brave wife spent, i dunno, 16 hours laboring my son seven years ago. i smuggled food in for her. i hid a half-eaten sandwich in the cabinet below the sink in the bathroom. i'd fled there to evade detection. as far as i know, it's still there, though i'm sure they clean.

when daughter's turn came, there was so much noise from the back seat that i thought the doula might take the delivery in the car. we'd barely gotten up on the couch when the baby popped out. it was dinner time.