Saturday, January 31, 2004

Pill Man

From the Department of Things You Don't Ordinarily Notice: ...Have you ever entered a restroom where someone didn't flush, and seen a brilliant, Day-Glo sort of yellow/green accumulation? If memory serves, I have seen this from time to time and thought nothing of it. Well, today I took about 12 of the 13 different kinds of Ineffective Supplements, (I like to call them that rather than Unproven Supplements). Some of these are quite expensive. I have encountered vitamin evangelists over the years, mostly friends, and when I used the "expensive pee" quip on one of them he got quite haughty and told me studies showed that the vitamins he was taking were retained and used, not peed out. The pills come in various colors. Anyway, when I saw it today, I immediately recognized the Day-Glo Pee and understood what sort of lifestyle the anonymous inconsiderate who used the restroom prior to myself was leading. He had been a Vitamin Person. Then I wondered what the purpose was of turning the customer's pee a vivid color suited for a fire truck or emergency road flare. The only thing I can think of is that certain people in the Ineffective Supplements industry have studied the psychological effect on the customer of dramatically altered pee chromatics. They must have found that people like it. They like being reminded that they are taking wildly expensive bunko. It also serves the purpose of a visible reminder to the person when they forget, or choose, to go off the Ineffective Supplement. "Oh, Gosh! Why is my pee a nearly-clear light yellow? What is wrong with me?!? Oh yes, I am no longer taking Co Q10. I'd better go down and buy some today!" It's the best sort of marketing. Highly personal. Direct. On-time. Buy More.
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