Thursday, February 19, 2004

Guns don't kill people, kids kill people

I was going to bed last night with a headache, and thought about taking an ibuprophen, but then recognized that, although I don't take analgesics much, that has been my sole analgesic for the past six years. The period in which some combination of factors gave me ALS. Or maybe none did. But I operate on the Change Is Good philosophy, so last night I decided to stop taking ibuprophen. I could not locate the Excedrin so I went to bed. Then I remembered that I had forgotten to take my riluzole with dinner. So I took it on an empty stomach. Went to bed. Felt nauseated, precursor barf feelings. Drink a little ginger ale, got out the barf bucket. My wife came to bed and the baby started crying, so my wife attended to her. That was around 11:00 I guess. Then at 2:30 the baby again. I was having trouble falling asleep. Then at 3:30 my son came in, said he needed to go poo. Then said he changed his mind. I put him back to bed. Then at 4:30 he came in again, said he wanted to say something to his mom. He whispered "I love you" to her and I took him back to bed. You may think this is sweet but we have tried everything except beatings to get him to stop this kind of stuff. Now I think we just have to wait for him to grow out of it. Then at 5:30 the baby again. Then at 6:30 the baby. I felt like ten pounds of soup in a five-pound bag. My wife must feel like a broken fan belt held together by duct tape.

I've never been good with handling unwanted noise from several sources at once. That's part of the reason why I was rarely in bars, parties, or restaurants. Part of the reason. The other reason was my basic unpopularity. Did you know that a baby's crying is designed by nature to be the most annoying thing you will ever hear? Now mix that in with the chatter of a sweet by energetic four-year-old who is currently experimenting with loud noises, interruptions, and social control through induced confusion. And remember that I have a headache. Wish me a nice day.


Guns don't kill people, kids kill people.

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