Saturday, March 13, 2004


So I was at Ross fine clothing store with my son, picking up a few socks. The checkout line took me past the rack of haphazardly displayed musical selections, which I regarded with preparatory contempt. Then: "Hey, Credence Clearwater Revival!" I looked at the song list. Looking Out My Back Door was on there. I knew my son would love it. And the CD was only $3.99! On the way home I sang the verses I remembered, and told my son that the CD would be even better. He was happy. When we got home I slapped in the CD and advanced to the song. Hmm, must have gone to far. Go back. Nope. That's too early. OK, listen, don't push buttons, you haven't heard this song in a while. Wow, the instrumentation is different. Maybe this is the live version. I bet I bought some compilation of live performances instead of the studio version. Oh well. Hey! That voice -- that's not the right voice! What is wrong with this, let's look at the label. Oh, in small type it says "Studio 99 performs" and then in huge type it says CREDENCE CLEARWATER REVIVAL. No wonder it was $3.99. What a dupe I am!

So then I called the store about their return policy, and they said I could return items for cash. I was all set to do that, to deny the music distributor scum their $2 of sucker revenue, when I thought: But the store will say that they don't accept returns of CDs when the shrink wrap has been removed. The idea being ... being ... that I actually wanted to copy this CD.

I shuddered between the two poles: Allowing the music distributor scum have their $2, and letting anyone think that the CD was worth copying.

Then the mail carrier arrived and I got some junk mail with a postage-paid return envelope. I usually return these with the promotional material, and torn-up outer envelope, inside. It's a easy way to get rid of things. Sometimes I include junk from other mailings in the return envelope, or mix them up between the two mailings. This time I cut the CD in half, saved the jewel case, and mailed the CD, plus liner art, to the firm seeking my business.
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