Thursday, September 02, 2004


Maybe I turned the corner? There was less coughing last night, and less this morning, and I feel a little better but maybe that's just a morning thing. I have to make my best effort to be completely lazy today, and hope the soma repairs. Yesterday evening was bad, and I got that feeling in my chest and throat, which I can best be described as an internal sunburn, or heartburn. Once when I had that and mentioned it to a doctor or nurse, I was told that's what bronchitis feels like. So I guess that I have bronchitis.

I have been spending a lot of time lying on the floor, and my wife has been doing all the kid work, and making breakfast too. I thank her.

One frustrating thing is that we had planned that I would start getting the baby girl to bed on alternating nights, now that he is weaned. But everything in on hold while I am sick. My wife took over and got the boy to bed last night even though it was my turn. Good thing too, because nose faucet.

The other frustrating thing is that I perceive that when I am sick, ALS makes its advances, and my muscles and nerves degrade. I know this is not good positive imagery but I can't help it. My left leg looks thinner to me. I hate it.

I'm not a crip yet, but someone said that the secret to handling yourself well as a crip is not to depress people with your complaints but rather to have a sense of humor. I'm not living up to that in my recent posts. Sue me!

The lemon drops irritated my throat, and the other fruit candies my sweet wife got me do the same. I think I need butterscotch or taffy or something creamy and buttery rather than zingy and zesty.

I really wanted to have a punchline for you here, leave 'em laughing. But instead I'll point you to one of my favorite blogs, Ginmar. She's a soldier whose been in Iraq for quite a while, was involved in one heck of a hairy firefight over there, comes back to the States on leave, and finds out her roomate is as bad as Saddam Hussein, that one of her best friends is MIA (her cat), and that the neighborhood she lives in is as bad a Fallujah. This is my interprtation, not hers. However I was amused at her description of a four-year-old who she thinks is out of control:

When you tell not to do something----like, say, open the door and let the cat out?----he smirks right up at you, then puts his hand on the door lock. If you tell him again, he pouts and looks down as if to ignore you, all the while fiddling with the door latch. When I took the brat's hand off the door, he slapped me and shouted "NO!" at me, gave me what can only be a shit-eating grin before shoving the door open and holding it open. This kid already knows that he won't face consequences for disobediance. I found myself just fascinated by his demeanor, because kids of that age are so guileless compared to adults. You can see everything they're thinking. In this case, what the brat was thinking was, "I'll never get a spanking! I'll never get a spanking!" This is because she seldom does spank the kid or whatever. He just does whatever he wants, she doesn't pay attention to him, and what definitely gets him attention is being a brat. But he knows what he's doing is wrong, so he's already linking doing bad things with being somehow cute. And he's so young!

I'm sorry, but my kid does something like this at least once a day, or once every 10 seconds when he's on a roll. Mostly I am impressed by how well-behaved he his. I think this is just normal preschooler behavior. We don't spank him. So are we creating a monster?

I think that the kid in Ginmar's case has picked up on the tension between her and his mom. His mom sounds not very mature, and so I wouldn't be surprised if in some subtle or overt way she has encouraged him to mess with Ginmar. Or maybe he truly is a devil child. But I don't think this example proves that.

Delightful concoction (and so easy to make!):

1. Prepare some angel hair or vermicelli
2. Lay it on top of a small amount of finely-chopped, fresh uncooked spinach
3. Mix in some mild and fresh salsa (from the deli counter, not bottled salsa)
4. Grate cheese on top.
4. Eat, while praising brainhell.

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