Sunday, February 13, 2005

D+5: Crib take-down

Yesterday in the morning, before nap time, I disassembled the girl's crib and stowed the parts in the laundry room. She napped in her big-girl bed just fine. When she woke from her nap, she proudly said "I got out of bed!" First time she's had cause to say that.

My lovely wife and I are slightly sad (No more crib! Where is our baby!), but also proud of our little girl. You have to get used to these loss-gains when you are a parent. They just keep growing, and there is no holding them back.

As I've mentioned, my ALS disinhibition usually takes the form of laughing or grinning when I take something seriously. Especially annoying: precisely because I take it seriously. But yesterday it took the form of uncontrollable crying. I was sitting on one couch, watching my son play with trains, when my daughter got on the other couch and crawled over to the arm, which she draped herself over. Way too far over. I shouted her name, and "No!" Her head hit the floor first, those tiny little hands unable to stop her. She flipped on her back and looked at me for a moment as I crossed the room to her, then started to cry. I cried some too. That seemed natural. Then, a few minutes later, when I went upstairs to relax by sorting some laundry, the sorrow of the incident swept over me, and I wound up on the floor sobbing and keening for several minutes, clutching kid clothes in my hands. That part felt out of control. I don't regret it though.

It's been 13 months since diagnosis. The left grip is back "down" to 45 (42, 45, 40). Compare that to 33 and see if you think it is "down!" The right grip is down to 82. The inhale volume is back down to 4500 mL, where it was when we started the ceftriaxone. Maybe it's the mood, the dream I had last night, or yesterday's emotions, or today's breakfast, or just a normal swing in energy levels. We need more data before we have a trend.
Weblog Commenting and Trackback by