Thursday, July 07, 2005


When I was in junior high school, my father thought it was funny to tickle my face with a small piece of thread while I was sleeping. This caused me to scratch and slap and try to hide my head under the pillow. I was asleep, and assumed it was an insect. Which of course it was. At school, Carl had tricked me for an extended period during an outdoor assembly on the lawn, by tickling me with a small seed pod on the end of a very long stalk. I kept swatting at that 'fly' until I heard giggling from Carl and Tony, and turned around and broke the stalk into little pieces. I wanted to break Carl into little pieces, but I was the smallest boy in school. One particular morning while I was sleeping, my father came in with the thread. I contorted myself for quite a few minutes while he continued annoying me with it. Then I had a dream. I dreamed that Carl was tickling me with something. I sat up resolutely in bed, drew back my fist, and punched Carl suddenly and as hard as I could, then flopped back down to sleep. I doubt that it hurt my father much, but he immediately woke me up and tried to hold me accountable for punching him. "No, I didn't punch you," I said. "I was dreaming it was Carl. Carl was tickling me with a piece of grass. So I punched him. I didn't know it was you." My father never again harassed me with simulated insects in my sleep, so far as I know. Anyway, it was a sort of justice.

Left grip is 38 pounds (35, 34, 38), right grip is 88 pounds (88, 85, 85), left leg balance is 7.79 seconds, and inhale volume is 4500 mL.

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