Friday, April 07, 2006

In which I hook up with Femi-Mommy

Sleeping next to my beautiful, loving wife on Wednesday morning, I had a dream in which I was Femi-Mommy's new boyfriend. Dreams often overlook logic and the implications of real life, or allow contradictions to coexist, and this was such a dream. I'd guess that in the dream I was about 10 years younger. And I wasn't disabled, though in the dream I never reflected on this. I was doing the kind of work I used to do: Driving long distances, having technical meetings with client companies, and writing computer code for them.

The dream started out with a new car. I was happy that it was a Volkswagen (Passat or Jetta), but later learned that it was some cheap American sedan. After work, I pulled up in the evening at a large, 19th-century building. It was probably an apartment house, because Femi didn't occupy all of it. But her place was huge, with plenty of rooms, various levels, staircases, and dark, ornate hardwood everywhere.

In the dream, we had had a night or two of passion, and in the brief interactions I had with her, I thought she was hoping I would stick around and be part of her life. I certainly intended to, but she didn't know that. In the dream she had pigtails, but she was more blond than in her photos. I didn't notice any tattoos, or think about them. She was also taller than in real life, probably about 5'6".

There was no sex in this dream, unless you count the part where I tried to excite her by chewing on her nipples. They were pink and ropy. I didn't hear any moans of pleasure, and there was no writhing and grasping, so I figured maybe I was using a bad technique, and gave it up.

The project at work was huge and complex, and I was often shuffling through requirements and specifications documents while on the phone. Femi, for her part, was busy with huge dinner parties for large groups of friends.

Speaking of friends, Femi's best friend was a young gay man who dressed in brown clothes and had nice shoes. Lefty, I guess that guy was you. I knew that at some point the young gay man would want to quiz me about my intentions toward Femi, and I was prepared to offer assurances that I was commitment material, in the gf-bf terms that commitment manifests in when you're that young.

The work project was so demanding, the commute so long, and Femi's dinner parties so involved, that though we had been lovers for two days, we rarely saw each other. I was on the phone at one point, shuffling some documents, when I heard Femi interacting with Genius Girl, her daughter. I thought: Huh! I'm imposing all the child duties on Femi just the way I do to my wife and kids.

Normally in dreams where I am put into a life separated from my real family, if I remember them, I desperately want to get back to them. But in this dream that didn't happen -- nor did I examine at all the massive contradiction between having a real family and being Femi-Mommy's boyfriend at the same time. I also didn't reflect on the fact that the reason my darling wife does all the kid work is my disability and fatigue.

The other major contradiction, the one I like the best, involves Femi's real-life boyfriend, Freckle Boy. He showed up at the second dinner party, completely welcome by everyone, including me. He was there because he loves Femi and GG and is part of their lives. It did not occur to me, at all, to examine the whole jealousy/rivalry thing in the dream. (Please refrain from the obvious homoerotic humor). It was an unrecognized contradiction. FB was there because he is devoted to them.

Toward the end of the dream GG and I talked to Femi about a spelling game we had played with letter blocks. It wasn't Boggle, but it was something like it. I was happy to have some kid interaction.

At the very end of the dream I was leaving the great big place to get in the car and go home for the night. Why I wasn't staying with Femi wasn't explored either. Anyway, as I was walking out with the gay male Lefty substitute, my last thought was that it was a heck of a huge commute.

I woke up and said to my special wife, "I had a dream I hooked up with Femi-Mommy." My voice is slurred, though, so she said: "You had a dream you took care of many mommies?"

Something like that.
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