Wednesday, April 05, 2006


As a kid I was unaware that people talk to each other, and that the main currency of exchange is what other people think about a given person. Or maybe, given that I had an inferiority complex, I thought that no one cared about my opinions, beyond whoever might be talking to me out of boredom.

This led to several incidents in which I would tell person A my low opinion of person B, and person B would soon appear and mysteriously probe around the topic of my grudge. I would usually lie or evade, which must have satisfied person B regarding their power and status.

I don't know when I finally wised up, but I would sincerely hope that it was in the aftermath of the Wall Interview in junior high school. I was leaning against a wall, right next to a projecting pillar of bricks. Alex appeared and asked me what I thought of Michael.

Only recently, I had been a member of Michael's court, until I realized that I served only as a target of scorn. After attempting, unsuccessfully, to kick Michael's shins, I left the court, and never returned.

I told Alex what I thought of Michael, probably using a lot of curse words but -- if my memory serves -- also laying out a rather cogent psychological analysis of the jerk. As soon as I finished saying my bit, Michael appeared from the other side of the bricks, smugly said hello to me, and walked away.

Too gullible about human nature to deduce what had happened, I asked Alex a stupid question: "Did you know he was standing there, could you see him?"

Alex said of course.

Finally I understood that it had been a trick. "Why would you DO that?" I demanded.

Alex shrugged. "For fun."

Oh, we're safe all right, with Bush protecting us

Brian J. Doyle, 55, was arrested at his residence in Maryland on charges of use of a computer to seduce a child and transmission of harmful material to a minor. The charges were issued out of Polk County, Fla.


During other online conversations, Doyle revealed his name, that he worked for the Homeland Security Department and offered his office and government issued cell phone numbers, the sheriff's office said.

Some of you political hacks might be tempted to say that this reflects badly on Bush. But you're wrong. I know who it reflects badly on. That's right: Clinton! For fostering an atmosphere conducive to inappropriate sex encounters with young women.

Left grip is 25 pounds (23, 25, 24), right grip is 70 pounds (70, 66, 67).
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