Wednesday, May 17, 2006

Play with me

There came a certain point when I was about three, I think, that I began to notice my parents (mostly my father) moving away when I wanted them to play with me. Even as a toddler, I noticed several times that when I happily ran to talk to my father, he vanished behind a closing door just in the nick of time. It seemed to me that perhaps he was trying to avoid me. I considered that, but then discarded it as impossible. It was just coincidence. I decided to quicken my step the next time. But it kept happening.

Anyway, by the time I was about three, I noticed them moving away when I had the idea to play. They would suddenly get busy, and explain that they had important things to do. By this time I would say "Play with me!"

It was gradually dawning on me that maybe I didn't have the right to demand that they play. My father confirmed it once with a blunt "No!"

You may think this is a trauma, but I had a pretty good childhood, and felt loved.
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