Friday, August 11, 2006

Tuva-wall


I had a dream about Tuva-wall, a painting compound. Fortunately it exists only in my dreams. I was in a paint store and looked at a display of the product. Right on the can it told the story of some guy who ate only Tuva-wall for a year, because it's so cheap, which helped him finance the house he painted entirely with Tuva-wall.

I thought how my friend Jansenist would love that story of thrift, economy, and bizarre diet.

Tuva-wall expands up to five times after application. For example, a layer 7/16 of an inch thick will expand to 34/16 of an inch, or two and an eighth inches!

It can become any color, using pigments. I played with some of it, kept wet in a small bowl. It looked like raw pasta floating in food coloring.

Tuva-wall is simple, but many men appear to be too stupid to grasp it. A woman standing behind me derisively recounted to her friend how her husband had said "I'll do the cooking for a week if you'll do the Tuva-wall!" They laughed.

After waking I realized that Tuva-wall would suck as a product. Any slight error in pressure when applying it would be magnified five times.
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