I remember being a toddler and being unable to tolerate the torture of long car trips. I don't know how long it was in real time, but it seemed forever and ever that I was supposed to sit on that back seat, with my legs straight out in front of me, not moving much. It was an unatural state for a toddler. After a while my legs and my hips began to ache. Plus, I was tired and restless. I would begin to whine, and blubber, continuously, a sing-song. They would try to ignore me as long as they could, not out of malice, but because when they tried to soothe me I would start screaming that I wanted to stop, to get out, to be home.

My father used to threaten to pull over the car if I kept grieving. A few times, he did. I would quiet down, and then when we were rolling againg the aanguish would strike me and I would begin keening again.