i need air. or i die. simple.

i make so much excess saliva that being on my back can drown me. that's why i demand to be rolled to my left side, so that i can drain out. and that's why i get so strident when i'm on my back. as the best night caregiver, i thought you knew that.

being told 'relax' DOES NOT HELP!

being made to wait for you to lift me until my left leg relaxes is frightening and pointless -- each time you lift me that left leg always sticks out straight. and today the bed was too high for the leg to touch the floor.

scolding and lectures DO NOT HELP.

it must be hard to have a crip, who you are lovingly trying to help, shriek angrily at you. i am sorry.